"Cheat-Proof Your Relationship" is the story de jour on MSN.
This disturbs me. Due to the fact that the article states "according to some reports, nearly 70 percent of all married men and 60 percent of married women have had affairs." Some reports, eh? Very convincing.
Cheat-proofing has apparently become an essential skill. So here are five tips to keep your significant other in check.
1. Keep Boundaries
This means that if you are married then you should stay within your own white picket fence, not hurdle your neighbor's and jump straight into his/her bed.
2. Don't Kid Yourself
I believe this translates to: Don't wear a tube top as a skirt and your best pasties out to 'happy hour' and act all shocked when you find yourself on your back in the bed of a el camino by sundown.
3. Demonstrate Trust
right... as in get each other's names tattooed somewhere 'special'
Lover #1: do you want to have sex with other people, like, without me?
Lover #2: I dunno know, do you?
Lover #1: Well, not if you don't want me to
Lover #2: aww, you're so sweet to ask first
Lover #1: so is it cool I bang other chicks or what?
Lover #2: since you asked, I 'spose it's cool
Lover #1: now get back in the kitchen and fetch me a turkey pot pie!
.... and finally
5. Keep the Home Fires Burning
It's important to remeber that oral sex can be performed on your partner outside of birthdays, anniversaries, and in cases of extreme guilt.