* Taking a cab to the beach with a sack of Burger King in tow -- as opposed to riding a bike there and bringing some water like everyone else. There's just something about eating fries on a hot sandy beach that screams: Happy Birthday America! Right?

* Being at a wedding and having a guy turn to my boyfriend and ask if I was a nympho, and then having the same man turn to me and ask if I was a "Pollock." Coincidentally, upon hearing that I was of German/Scandinavian descent the dude was considerate enough to let me know that no matter what I was... Russian, Irish, you name it... I was a "good looking Pollock." ...Oh, alcohol, you really know how to give people that extra boost in the charm department.

* Being at the same wedding and watching my boyfriend wildly lead his stepmom in an Enrique Iglesias inspired ballroom-esque type dance, which ended with her wedding ring flying off her finger and across the dance floor.