The following is an actual email my boss sent to a bunch of her peon employees. Also, please note that my boss takes the time to type the date on the tops of all her emails. This is *key* moronic behavior in the world of "upper management" at my place of employment. I know, I know... at least I have a job.
Drum roll, please. I present: The Email.
August 5, 2003
If you are receiving this email, you have a performance evaluation date either just past or coming up soon. Unfortunately, I need to inform you that there is NO salary increase approved for the 2003-2004 fiscal year--for anyone.
I'm still responsible for conducting a performance evaluation to give you an assessment of your job performance this past year, and will do that; however, I'm guessing that you are not feeling any particular urgency about having the performance completed in a hurry. If I'm mistaken about that, and you would like your evaluating done soon, please let me know, and I'll move you up in the rotation. If I don't hear from you, I'll put all the evaluations off until things slow down.
If you have any questions about this, or would like to discuss it, please let me know.
What a way to boost worker morale!
Shame on you boss lady! So, so inappropriate.