08.26.03 | 12:58 p.m.

my head now has 2,000 mg of acetaminophen dancing around in it so that it doesn't explode

Why would my brain burst? you may wonder.


That is what I call my boss. The nickname originated when I overheard her ordering three meatballs for pickup around 4:30 p.m. one day at work. She also ordered meat sauce, too, which seems unnecessary if she's already eating three meatballs. But, then again, it's her heart that has got to pump all that blood through her clogging arteries.

The next day she ordered two meatballs (and meat sauce).

It got to the point where I would pass coworkers in the hall and signal to them the daily meatball count.

Some days it was as high as five meatballs (w/ meat sauce!).

Now, if only meatball would roll herself out in front of a bus...