10.20.03 | 1:06 p.m.

That thong thong-thong thong thong

This morning while I was getting dressed for work I discovered a mysterious thong panty in my drawer. Seeing is how I live by myself and my dog much prefers briefs, I just stared at the thong for a good five seconds trying intensely to figure out its origin.

Tonight I will be placing the thong back into the communal laundry room and hope that it finds its way home.

These are just some of the joys of living in an apartment complex -- aside from having to listen to my neighbors have shower sex; or beat their child for having sloppy handwriting (sad, but true); or even drink cases of Old Style with a group of their closest 10, burly construction workers all screaming wildly as the Cubs lose their shot at the World Series.

Ah, the serenity.