11.19.03 | 4:34 p.m.

I'm looking out my 34th floor window at the Hilton next door and thinking of Paris.

Not Wacko Jacko's (a.k.a the man in the mirror who was once Michael Jackson and who is now one of America's Most Wanted) blonde haired, fair eyed daughter Paris, but indeed the Paris of which I am thinking is a natural blonde.

I am also thinking about attacking meatball (a.k.a my boss who was once not so cruel) with a stapler. She just told me that I couldn't use this photo for the cover of the magazine because the woman was "too ugly."

I have since talked her out of it.

[By the way, this is a stock photo of Meredeth from Bachelor Bob for those of you (a.k.a. myself who was once not into reality bullshit shows that had to end in a wedding proposal) who have found themselves suckered into watching.]