01.30.04 | 12:24 p.m.

Because the wind chill is a frigid negative 27, I am wearing tights under my jeans. This makes it feel as though my crotch starts at about my knees. Coincidentally, this also makes me appreciate the real location of my crotch, sans tights.

I am now eating my first round of soup. Soup alone doesnít fill me. This is why I am trying two rounds of soup today. Not by choice, but by necessity. It is what my cupboards had to offer this morning. And it beats what I could buy with the 35-cents in my wallet.

Also, I have come to the conclusion, people who just eat one round of soup for lunch have eating disorders.

In two weeks Iíll be 28. At this age I have noted far less of my friends and associates have eating disorders than they did a decade ago. Why, those lazy fat asses!

I jest. Iím not going to break out a PSA, just reiterate that eating disorders are bad. Now you go ahead and have that second soup ... only *you* know who you are.