02.12.04 | 6:49 p.m.

happy birthday honest abe, happy birthday me

A recap of the events leading up to my day of celebrated birth.

a. walking out of subway to the sight of sewer work being done... like wading through concentrated shit. so bad that you actually develop poop breath. ewe.

b. going to the dentist for what you think is the last appointment in your long, drawn-out root canal... and then leaving with bloody gauze in your mouth from an impromptu tooth pull. also, realizing that said dentist is sending your invoices to the wrong address and that you have a balance due that is well into the hundreds... of dollars.

c. entering your office washroom to find one of your coworkers blowing her nose in the sink ... then when you go to wash your hands actually having to see the booger chunks clinging to the side of the porcelain. so wrong.