03.17.04 | 12:52 p.m.

St. Pat's, 2004

I got to wakeup bright and early to go and see the "female" doctor. She told me that I had on nice socks. That is the only thing I had on. Guess the compliment fit.

At work, Meatball (my boss) asked me to find out if it is politically correct to refer to African Americans as blacks. Meatball makes a point to avoid any situation where race, ethnicity, or gender is involved. She also makes it a point to avoid having to do any work, in addition to neglecting to wash the stank buildup off her body.

Does Meatball really expect me to approach a coworker who just happens to be black (whereas I am not black) and ask them, "hey, can I call you black?"

If so, she's dreaming. I think that black is back these days. However, to be safe all references in the cataract story I wrote have been changed to African American.

But while I'm at it, should I ask the Asian American at my work if "chink" is cool with her? The Polish woman, wonder if she's down with "Pollock" (and not the artist)? The Irish man, the "mic"? The Hispanic woman, the "spic"? The Caucasians, "honkies"? The overweight people, "fat asses"?