06.29.04 | 10:27 a.m.

If I had known it was going to be that kind of train ride...

I'd have stayed in bed.

There is nothing worse than being seated only a few feet from a fellow morning commuter, who just happens to be wearing sweatpants and who also happens to be quite obviously sporting an enormous erection.

He wasn't the least bit embarrassed, so why should I be, right?


At least he had pants on...