12.03.04 | 4:21 p.m.

Ha! Ha! Take that you poor bastards!

Ah, yes, can you imagine being so rich that you have the audacity to belly up to a $10,000 martini?

If you can, well, by all means contact me. Please. Note to anyone interested, financing a wedding is ridiculous. There is no way in hell a banquet hall could get away with charging $29.99 (plus 20% gratuity and tax) for a kid’s meal consisting of fries and chicken strips without the word “wedding” attached. It’s criminal.