Music Photos 101
My friend would like it noted that this photo follows the general rules of band/music album covers and/or promotional photos.
By that, he means:
RAP ARTIST: I am very rich, very sexually active, and/or very tough. This shall become evident to you by way of the assortment of expensive automobiles, snarling pit bulls, and bikini-clad females featured behind me. My name is also presented in a jewel-encrusted font.
HEAVY METAL ARTIST: I am sexually ambiguous, but also very sexy.
ALTERNATIVE ARTIST: I am emotionless and perhaps not even looking at the camera. One of us is also showing our displeasure with corporate rock by flicking off the camera.
INDEPENDENT ARTIST: Here is a photo of an inanimate object or an old, broken-down building.
LOCAL ROCK BAND: We are hanging out near train tracks or in front of a brick wall.
COUNTRY ARTIST: I got a really good deal on this airbrushed glamour shot at the mall of me hugging my guitar.
FEMALE POP SENSATION: I got a really good deal on this airbrushed glamour shot at the mall of my hair blowing in the wind while wearing a skimpy outfit.
PHIL COLLINS: Here is another album cover that consists of a close-up shot of my face.
p.s. Yesterday the radio in my office turned on, on its very own. My watch also stopped. And today I managed to kill a microwave by walking into a room while it was doing its thing and then having it just shut off – mid warming my soup, nonetheless. I suppose that means my telekinetic powers have finally matured and my mom really is an alien. Her skin does have the tendency to eat through metal … it’s true. She’s gone through three bands on her engagement ring already and about 10 years ago her dentist discovered a large, unexplainable mass of metal in her head.