12.31.03 | 12:42 p.m.

My subconscious is a scary place.

I had a dream last night where Ben Stein [man most acclaimed from his monotone vocal delivery... Bueller, Bueller] was trying to drown me in a vat a mayonnaise. I tried strangling him with his tie, but was unsuccessful.

This is actual quite typical of my nocturnal ventures.