03.19.04 | 3:12 p.m.

Human Resources Schooled Me Today

As it turns out, my company has nothing on me, except the fact that I don't get to work at 9 a.m.

This "problem" began in 1998. But today the impact of it was finally brought to my attention when I asked if my 1% raise would be retroactive from my review date, May 8, 2003.

The answer? "Hell no!"

Why would I even ask that? Don't I know that keeping this chump change out of my greedy hands is tough love!? How am I going to learn that "professionals " start working at 9 a.m.? ...and when is Meatball (aka boss hog) going to realize this, too?

As far as I am concerned, they might as well spat in my face and sent me packing.

classified ads here I come.