10.20.04 | 11:17 a.m.

“Liberals boo, conservatives bomb.”
-Jon Stewart, on The Daily Show

Now, I’m not necessarily sure I’m a bleeding heart liberal, nor am I sure I am a committed conservative. However, I will not be voting for Bush this November 2, to the great disappointment of my Communist, I mean Republican, family.

What I am sure of is that I would like to get up from my computer this very second, calmly walk over to my boss Meatball’s office, close the door, and sucker punch her right smack dab in the middle of her fat-fugly face. I would then like to rub some hot sauce in her eyes. That, I am 100% sure, would brighten my day.

Of course, office politics (and the law) permit me from doing that. So, I am left with no choice but to close my office door, turn up my iTunes, and work through my anger.

On a side note, even with my music pumping, I can still hear my boss screaming at some poor, unsuspecting optical establishment about her lost prescription.

“I do not understand why you are not helping me out!?!?” (Hmmm… maybe, just maybe, Meatball, it is because you are YELLING.)

“I can’t see! I need my glasses. I need them to see!" (Point taken. Yet, it remains a mystery how Meatball rolled herself to work today, has been navigating her stout self around the office without the aide of a seeing eye dog and/or pointer stick, and has even been responding to her emails.)

On another side note, just because she claims she cannot see at the present in no way means I take back my comment about the desire to dab a little Tabasco in her retinas.

I bet she plays up this temporary blindness for a good two weeks.

In fact, she probably won’t be able to get to work tomorrow – as she is newly disabled.

Maybe I will wake up "blind" tomorrow, too.

Reminds me -- America's Next Top Model (cycle 3) fans, we can only hope that Amanda gets the boot tonight. Or, at least, I will be hoping that from my living room couch.